So I got to thinking after my last post...since this blog is pretty much annoymous at this point...I'll kind of using it as my "soapbox" or venting area....Why not? It's as real as it gets, single mommy style. So why is it....when you think you have found a good man....one you can trust around your kids....and seems to be on the right path in life...he just up and gets all shady? Out of no where...stops answering his phone and returning text messages? There was no argument, or disagreement between us....just up and stopped talking to me....I don't know why I'm stressing so much about it....Obviously he's not worth spending my time with....something just felt different with him. I had been single a full year prior to "dating" him. We dated for only a couple of months and then boom...done...no answers, no reasoning, nothing. I hate being alone....I mean I can deal with it, and I have for a very long time...I'm just getting really tired of it. I just need another adult in my life....someone I can rely upon, and someone who loves me and supports me. But this day in age...it seems hard to find. I do have so much going on in my life that I can be focusing on...but this is just really putting me in a funk....It's getting better as the days go on...but it still just really bothers me, that he didn't have the decency to tell my why he didn't want a relationship.
Also I was out of work today, because DS11, went to summer camp last week, and while there they allowed him to get a sunburn so bad, he has second degree burns on the upper half of his body. So I got a half a days work in yesterday, I'm out of work today and tomorrow. We go back to the doctors tomorrow for them to recheck his skin...and I hope I can get back to work Thursday. Although I love spending time at home with my boys....I need the money for bills.
My DS8, goes to the Bronx Zoo tomorrow, so we all have to be up early to drop him off with the bus at 6:30 am....So it'll be an early start for us all...He'll have a great time I'm sure...but I worry about him making such a long trip on a bus with a bunch of other kids without me.
So tomorrow will be another day of lounging around the house, doc appointments, and laundry mat for my DS11 and I. Have I mentioned how much I hate the Laundrymat? It's a money sucking, time consuming place! My last apartment(pre single mommy days) at least had a washer dryer hookup so I could do laundry every day, now I do laundry once a week and have to lug the ton of clothes we have, down a flight of stairs, a building lengths walk to the car....drive it about a mile to the laundry mat, lug it out, into the laundry mat, hope and pray the large machines are available and working properly, sit at the laundry mat for 2.5 hours doing laundry, then lug it back out to the car, drive it home, lug it back the building lengths walk and up the flight of stairs into my apartment, then seperate it all up for us all to put away, it's exhausting just thinking about it! Each trip to the laundry mat costs me about $20....which adds up over the long haul.
I should be cleaning something tomorrow around my house...but I'm sure by the time I finish the laundry, I'll be exhausted and just want to take a nap....I just don't get how some single mom's can keep their house spotless....I can barely manage to keep it "acceptable". Although most single mom's have down time where they can send their kids to their dad's house or have a family member babysit. I don't have that luxury. The boys father is non existant, my family that does live in the area is busy and not the whole "babysitting" type. So I just don't ever have a break.
So even if I wanted to date someone....I always have my kids around...so getting a time to actually go on a date doesn't really exist...meaning a date consists of me AND the boys....Most men just arn't interested in that...especially ones that don't have kids of their own. Yes I know it was my choice to have kids, and my choice to leave their father and be a single mommy....but honestly...most men, don't even get to know me because of my kids...I know if they gave me a chance, and just got used to us and our lives they would be fine...but none can get past the kids being with me all the time thing. I don't know...just guess I'm having a "feel sorry for me" day. I'll get past it eventually. I just wish once I had someone to support me...to love me...and just make me feel happy for one day...I know I'll find it eventually, when the time is right and the right person is meant to come into my life...I'm just getting impatient.
Ok so on top of all that....I bring my car to the shop today for some repairs. Thankfully it was all covered under warranty...but I have to bring it back on Friday to finish the repairs they didn't get to today...Having to leave it there and take a loaner car to work...meaning I have to get the boys and I up extra early to get to the shop by around 8:15 am..so I can drop my car off and pick up the loaner car, then drop my boys off at daycare so I can be to work by 9 am. Then I'll have to leave work early to pick it up in the afternoon. I normally work til 5 pm on fridays...but the garage closes at 5 pm...so I'll have to leave work about 4:30 so I can rush over there and exchange cars. This week is just turning out to be quite stressful.
Alright I guess I'm officially done now. It's after midnight and I have to be up at 5:30 am...to get my DS8 ready for his Trip to NYC for the Bronx Zoo....5 hours of sleep isn't going to cut it.....but I'll do what I have to do....Hoping I'll have time to squeeze in a nap tomorrow!
Goodnight all!
P.S.....I am open for suggestions, or questions, if anyone is curious about anything or would like to see on here. I've never done a blog before, and would like to make it fun and interesting!
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