Somehow I missed posting yesterday? Don't know how...but I did. Nothing much interesting. I got the final repairs done on my car yesterday....they gave me a gross, shady rental car for the day, I wasn't impressed. Yesterday was also pay day! Yay! Most is gone towards bills anyways...so not sure why I'm all that excited, other than I guess I can pay my bills! LOL....Went to bed early and got a good nights sleep, I think I'm most excited about that!
Today was not too eventful. Got up early before the kids for once. We went to the farmer's market this morning and got all sorts of yummy fresh produce! That's my favorite! We came home and just hung out around the house all day. I had high hopes of getting some house work done, but really didn't get to do that much. Just being lazy today I guess. I did clean out my fridge somewhat. Didn't do a full wipe down or anything but did get the "science experiments" out of there. The kids have just been hanging out watching tv. We've had a quiet uneventful day...but I really don't mind. It's nice every once in a while.
Now I'm sitting here listening to all the ghetto neighbors outside....I can't wait until the day I can move out of here. They are all loud and inconsiderate. Don't take into account there is other people around. The kids are always unsupervised and run amuck outdoors. There is always garbage left around outside....and people with "medically necessary" pets let them run unattended as well. I really don't talk with any of my neighbors by choice. I just can't deal with these people. I get a grouping of adults that sit around the entry way to my apartment every night that it's nice out...hooting, hollering, drinking, and what have you. Occassionally getting into fights and arguments. Other neighbors in the building doing drugs and partaking in domesting violence....the smell of marijuana and cigarette smoke occassionally linger through my apartment thanks to the shared venting and exhuast systems of the range hoods, and bathroom fan vents. Every day I search through craigslist and our local newspapers website for any apartment for rent that would be affordable to me, or anything for sale at a cheap price that I could afford the payments to. Still no luck. I have put in complaints with the main office here, but it gets me nowhere. I'm just stuck here for the time being.
Tomorrow, we go to church and do any misc. things that need to be done before the week starts. The weather is supposed to be nice, and I would like to get out and enjoy it, but we are still being careful of my DS11 recovering sunburn. So we'll see what the day holds. So it's another weekend, that I have spent loney and really doing nothing fun. Stuck in my crappy apartment alone with my kids. I just need a break once in a while. To get out, have a date and enjoy life. But I really never get that. It's depressing and frustrating. But it's my life. I just want a normal life. With a husband, a nice house in the country, more kids, and some pets. I would love to be able to sit outside on a nice sumer night around a small fire and enjoy the company of friends and family. Do some simple summer bbq's, and have a swingset and sandbox in the yard for the kids to play in. And I can't even send my kids outside to play because of all the nasty adults and children around here. I'll get my dreams eventually...It's just so hard waiting for that time to come.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
I'm back again
So after the whole ordeal with the guy yesterday, there was a few texts exchanged and no phone calls. Like I figured. I talked with my co worker, who happens to be neighbors with this guy, and her husband also works with him, and she said she thinks he's not over his ex wife. Which is fine, just wished he would at least be honest with me about it. I'm done, I'm through. I'm not chasing him anymore. It's not good for me....and he's frankly not worth it, after all he's put me through this past week and a half. So whatever...it's done. Time to move on, and see if I can find happiness else where.
So today I was back to work....was a decent day. Not overly profit worthy but decent. Tomorrow will be another full day, and it's also pay day. I will have to leave a little early to pick up my car from the shop but mostly a full day. I'm hoping it'll be a nice weekend, so the boys and I can get out and do something. Maybe to the local theme park, or just hang out by the lake....something...
I'm also thinking of motivating myself to get back to the gym and start working out again. That will hopefully boost my confidence again and boost the happy hormones in my body! I need something. Lately I have just been down. Also possibly exposing myself to some nice athletic type of men??? LOL :)
Got a new cell phone today, so I have been spending the afternoon and early evening playing around with it. Getting the word out about my new number etc.....The only thing that bummed me out was that when I took the mini memory card out of my old phone and put it in my new phone somehow it erased everything on the card! I'm very disappointed in that....it had some pics of my kids on it. So I'm hoping to find the adaptor for it and plug it into my computer to see if I really lost everything off it. I hope not!
I'm in a clean out my life, clean out my house type of mood today, so maybe I can carry that over to this weekend and make a major dent in my house! It needs a good run over.....I need to really downsize the amount of stuff I have. I have acquired too much....and don't really use any of it! I'm hoping to get everything down to a minimum, so that when and if the day comes when I can finally move out of this crappy apartment that it won't be so hard to pack up! Every day I am searching to get out of this apartment. I live in the Ghetto, and that's no exaggeration. Low income housing, because as a single mom that's all I can comfortably afford. But I'm willing to make my life uncomfortable and stretch my pennies as far as I can to try and get out of here! This apartment is too small and the people surrounding us are awful! It's really wearing on the boys and I!
I do have to say on a positive note though, today was beautiful outside. My new baby nephew is gorgeous and healthy....and I do have amazingly wonderful boys....I just need to start focusing on the positive in my life and not the negative. This blog will be both...venting my struggles and hopefully bragging about the wonderful stuff in my life!
So today I was back to work....was a decent day. Not overly profit worthy but decent. Tomorrow will be another full day, and it's also pay day. I will have to leave a little early to pick up my car from the shop but mostly a full day. I'm hoping it'll be a nice weekend, so the boys and I can get out and do something. Maybe to the local theme park, or just hang out by the lake....something...
I'm also thinking of motivating myself to get back to the gym and start working out again. That will hopefully boost my confidence again and boost the happy hormones in my body! I need something. Lately I have just been down. Also possibly exposing myself to some nice athletic type of men??? LOL :)
Got a new cell phone today, so I have been spending the afternoon and early evening playing around with it. Getting the word out about my new number etc.....The only thing that bummed me out was that when I took the mini memory card out of my old phone and put it in my new phone somehow it erased everything on the card! I'm very disappointed in that....it had some pics of my kids on it. So I'm hoping to find the adaptor for it and plug it into my computer to see if I really lost everything off it. I hope not!
I'm in a clean out my life, clean out my house type of mood today, so maybe I can carry that over to this weekend and make a major dent in my house! It needs a good run over.....I need to really downsize the amount of stuff I have. I have acquired too much....and don't really use any of it! I'm hoping to get everything down to a minimum, so that when and if the day comes when I can finally move out of this crappy apartment that it won't be so hard to pack up! Every day I am searching to get out of this apartment. I live in the Ghetto, and that's no exaggeration. Low income housing, because as a single mom that's all I can comfortably afford. But I'm willing to make my life uncomfortable and stretch my pennies as far as I can to try and get out of here! This apartment is too small and the people surrounding us are awful! It's really wearing on the boys and I!
I do have to say on a positive note though, today was beautiful outside. My new baby nephew is gorgeous and healthy....and I do have amazingly wonderful boys....I just need to start focusing on the positive in my life and not the negative. This blog will be both...venting my struggles and hopefully bragging about the wonderful stuff in my life!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Another Day......
I'm back for another day. Spent the day at home with DS11....still healing his sunburn. Went to the docs and he's ok to return to day care. SO back to work tomorrow I go! After two and a half days off, I really need it! My DS8 went to the Bronx Zoo today, and had a blast....but is pretty tired due to the fact he's been up since 5:30 am.
So the guy I had been seeing that I complained about yesterday....well, I bumped into him at the grocery store, with his ex wife and their son....and he completely acted like nothing was wrong. He talked with my son, and with me. Then as he was walking away asked me"see you soon?". So I asked him...."are you going to call me", and he said "yes", and I said "are you sure", and he said "pretty much". I doubt he will, I'm not holding my breath...but still...I mean really? I just don't get it! My kids really liked him...they keep asking when we are going to see him again. And with everything up in the air like it is...I haven't said anything to them. I should just put it all behind me...and keep him out of my life, and move on. I just don't know what to think anymore. If he really cared about me...he wouldn't have put me through all this, this past week and a half anyways.....So I'll just go with my gut from here on out.
I'm just discouraged with life right now. I just want to find stability and happiness in my life. I really don't think that it's too much to ask. I mean I'm a good person...and I try to live a good life....but I don't know..It's such a struggle for me, to just be normal, and to have normal things in life.
I really don't have any way of meeting new people, to even try to start another relationship. All those online dating sites are full of weirdos...and most are ugly and gross....Sorry I'm not attracted to any of that, and never will....I'm stuck...that's all there is to it. I'm stuck in this life and there is no way out, no way of making it better, no matter how hard I try.
So yeah, I got all my laundry done today....It was just as fun as I described yesterday, except, there was this really weird guy at the laundry mat, who was doing his laundry(if you want to call it that) at the same time as me. He brought in a basket of dry clothes...dirty, clean, who knows....and then proceeded to seperate them out into two different carts. Each cart he put into a different dryer..yes I said dryer...not washer...and put his fabric softener sheets in. Now the whole time he was drying his already dry clothes, he's watching them intently, grunting, and every so often opening the dryer and fluffing the clothes up, and restarting the dryer after. Then slowly one by one, he removed clothes from the dryer as it's still running and pressed them out on to a folding table taking the time to make sure there wasn't one wrinkle or crease in each article of clothing, and folding it just so. Seperating the clothes into stacks...and continuing to watch the other clothes dry. Thankfully, after our clothes were done washing we put them in the dryers and left for an hour while they were drying and he was gone when we got back! But it was definitely weird!
So I had an interesting day to say the least. I just want to crawl in my bed and sleep for days and hope when I wake up everything is perfect. I know that will never happen, but I can hope!
So it's 9pm...no phone calls, no text, no communication from the outside world...I'm isolated with my children, and just lonely and unhappy. I know I won't feel like this forever...but It's a long time when you are going through it!
Goodnight all.....Will post again soon!
So the guy I had been seeing that I complained about yesterday....well, I bumped into him at the grocery store, with his ex wife and their son....and he completely acted like nothing was wrong. He talked with my son, and with me. Then as he was walking away asked me"see you soon?". So I asked him...."are you going to call me", and he said "yes", and I said "are you sure", and he said "pretty much". I doubt he will, I'm not holding my breath...but still...I mean really? I just don't get it! My kids really liked him...they keep asking when we are going to see him again. And with everything up in the air like it is...I haven't said anything to them. I should just put it all behind me...and keep him out of my life, and move on. I just don't know what to think anymore. If he really cared about me...he wouldn't have put me through all this, this past week and a half anyways.....So I'll just go with my gut from here on out.
I'm just discouraged with life right now. I just want to find stability and happiness in my life. I really don't think that it's too much to ask. I mean I'm a good person...and I try to live a good life....but I don't know..It's such a struggle for me, to just be normal, and to have normal things in life.
I really don't have any way of meeting new people, to even try to start another relationship. All those online dating sites are full of weirdos...and most are ugly and gross....Sorry I'm not attracted to any of that, and never will....I'm stuck...that's all there is to it. I'm stuck in this life and there is no way out, no way of making it better, no matter how hard I try.
So yeah, I got all my laundry done today....It was just as fun as I described yesterday, except, there was this really weird guy at the laundry mat, who was doing his laundry(if you want to call it that) at the same time as me. He brought in a basket of dry clothes...dirty, clean, who knows....and then proceeded to seperate them out into two different carts. Each cart he put into a different dryer..yes I said dryer...not washer...and put his fabric softener sheets in. Now the whole time he was drying his already dry clothes, he's watching them intently, grunting, and every so often opening the dryer and fluffing the clothes up, and restarting the dryer after. Then slowly one by one, he removed clothes from the dryer as it's still running and pressed them out on to a folding table taking the time to make sure there wasn't one wrinkle or crease in each article of clothing, and folding it just so. Seperating the clothes into stacks...and continuing to watch the other clothes dry. Thankfully, after our clothes were done washing we put them in the dryers and left for an hour while they were drying and he was gone when we got back! But it was definitely weird!
So I had an interesting day to say the least. I just want to crawl in my bed and sleep for days and hope when I wake up everything is perfect. I know that will never happen, but I can hope!
So it's 9pm...no phone calls, no text, no communication from the outside world...I'm isolated with my children, and just lonely and unhappy. I know I won't feel like this forever...but It's a long time when you are going through it!
Goodnight all.....Will post again soon!
#2 for the day.......
So I got to thinking after my last post...since this blog is pretty much annoymous at this point...I'll kind of using it as my "soapbox" or venting area....Why not? It's as real as it gets, single mommy style. So why is it....when you think you have found a good man....one you can trust around your kids....and seems to be on the right path in life...he just up and gets all shady? Out of no where...stops answering his phone and returning text messages? There was no argument, or disagreement between us....just up and stopped talking to me....I don't know why I'm stressing so much about it....Obviously he's not worth spending my time with....something just felt different with him. I had been single a full year prior to "dating" him. We dated for only a couple of months and then boom...done...no answers, no reasoning, nothing. I hate being alone....I mean I can deal with it, and I have for a very long time...I'm just getting really tired of it. I just need another adult in my life....someone I can rely upon, and someone who loves me and supports me. But this day in age...it seems hard to find. I do have so much going on in my life that I can be focusing on...but this is just really putting me in a funk....It's getting better as the days go on...but it still just really bothers me, that he didn't have the decency to tell my why he didn't want a relationship.
Also I was out of work today, because DS11, went to summer camp last week, and while there they allowed him to get a sunburn so bad, he has second degree burns on the upper half of his body. So I got a half a days work in yesterday, I'm out of work today and tomorrow. We go back to the doctors tomorrow for them to recheck his skin...and I hope I can get back to work Thursday. Although I love spending time at home with my boys....I need the money for bills.
My DS8, goes to the Bronx Zoo tomorrow, so we all have to be up early to drop him off with the bus at 6:30 am....So it'll be an early start for us all...He'll have a great time I'm sure...but I worry about him making such a long trip on a bus with a bunch of other kids without me.
So tomorrow will be another day of lounging around the house, doc appointments, and laundry mat for my DS11 and I. Have I mentioned how much I hate the Laundrymat? It's a money sucking, time consuming place! My last apartment(pre single mommy days) at least had a washer dryer hookup so I could do laundry every day, now I do laundry once a week and have to lug the ton of clothes we have, down a flight of stairs, a building lengths walk to the car....drive it about a mile to the laundry mat, lug it out, into the laundry mat, hope and pray the large machines are available and working properly, sit at the laundry mat for 2.5 hours doing laundry, then lug it back out to the car, drive it home, lug it back the building lengths walk and up the flight of stairs into my apartment, then seperate it all up for us all to put away, it's exhausting just thinking about it! Each trip to the laundry mat costs me about $20....which adds up over the long haul.
I should be cleaning something tomorrow around my house...but I'm sure by the time I finish the laundry, I'll be exhausted and just want to take a nap....I just don't get how some single mom's can keep their house spotless....I can barely manage to keep it "acceptable". Although most single mom's have down time where they can send their kids to their dad's house or have a family member babysit. I don't have that luxury. The boys father is non existant, my family that does live in the area is busy and not the whole "babysitting" type. So I just don't ever have a break.
So even if I wanted to date someone....I always have my kids around...so getting a time to actually go on a date doesn't really exist...meaning a date consists of me AND the boys....Most men just arn't interested in that...especially ones that don't have kids of their own. Yes I know it was my choice to have kids, and my choice to leave their father and be a single mommy....but honestly...most men, don't even get to know me because of my kids...I know if they gave me a chance, and just got used to us and our lives they would be fine...but none can get past the kids being with me all the time thing. I don't know...just guess I'm having a "feel sorry for me" day. I'll get past it eventually. I just wish once I had someone to support me...to love me...and just make me feel happy for one day...I know I'll find it eventually, when the time is right and the right person is meant to come into my life...I'm just getting impatient.
Ok so on top of all that....I bring my car to the shop today for some repairs. Thankfully it was all covered under warranty...but I have to bring it back on Friday to finish the repairs they didn't get to today...Having to leave it there and take a loaner car to work...meaning I have to get the boys and I up extra early to get to the shop by around 8:15 am..so I can drop my car off and pick up the loaner car, then drop my boys off at daycare so I can be to work by 9 am. Then I'll have to leave work early to pick it up in the afternoon. I normally work til 5 pm on fridays...but the garage closes at 5 pm...so I'll have to leave work about 4:30 so I can rush over there and exchange cars. This week is just turning out to be quite stressful.
Alright I guess I'm officially done now. It's after midnight and I have to be up at 5:30 am...to get my DS8 ready for his Trip to NYC for the Bronx Zoo....5 hours of sleep isn't going to cut it.....but I'll do what I have to do....Hoping I'll have time to squeeze in a nap tomorrow!
Goodnight all!
P.S.....I am open for suggestions, or questions, if anyone is curious about anything or would like to see on here. I've never done a blog before, and would like to make it fun and interesting!
Also I was out of work today, because DS11, went to summer camp last week, and while there they allowed him to get a sunburn so bad, he has second degree burns on the upper half of his body. So I got a half a days work in yesterday, I'm out of work today and tomorrow. We go back to the doctors tomorrow for them to recheck his skin...and I hope I can get back to work Thursday. Although I love spending time at home with my boys....I need the money for bills.
My DS8, goes to the Bronx Zoo tomorrow, so we all have to be up early to drop him off with the bus at 6:30 am....So it'll be an early start for us all...He'll have a great time I'm sure...but I worry about him making such a long trip on a bus with a bunch of other kids without me.
So tomorrow will be another day of lounging around the house, doc appointments, and laundry mat for my DS11 and I. Have I mentioned how much I hate the Laundrymat? It's a money sucking, time consuming place! My last apartment(pre single mommy days) at least had a washer dryer hookup so I could do laundry every day, now I do laundry once a week and have to lug the ton of clothes we have, down a flight of stairs, a building lengths walk to the car....drive it about a mile to the laundry mat, lug it out, into the laundry mat, hope and pray the large machines are available and working properly, sit at the laundry mat for 2.5 hours doing laundry, then lug it back out to the car, drive it home, lug it back the building lengths walk and up the flight of stairs into my apartment, then seperate it all up for us all to put away, it's exhausting just thinking about it! Each trip to the laundry mat costs me about $20....which adds up over the long haul.
I should be cleaning something tomorrow around my house...but I'm sure by the time I finish the laundry, I'll be exhausted and just want to take a nap....I just don't get how some single mom's can keep their house spotless....I can barely manage to keep it "acceptable". Although most single mom's have down time where they can send their kids to their dad's house or have a family member babysit. I don't have that luxury. The boys father is non existant, my family that does live in the area is busy and not the whole "babysitting" type. So I just don't ever have a break.
So even if I wanted to date someone....I always have my kids around...so getting a time to actually go on a date doesn't really exist...meaning a date consists of me AND the boys....Most men just arn't interested in that...especially ones that don't have kids of their own. Yes I know it was my choice to have kids, and my choice to leave their father and be a single mommy....but honestly...most men, don't even get to know me because of my kids...I know if they gave me a chance, and just got used to us and our lives they would be fine...but none can get past the kids being with me all the time thing. I don't know...just guess I'm having a "feel sorry for me" day. I'll get past it eventually. I just wish once I had someone to support me...to love me...and just make me feel happy for one day...I know I'll find it eventually, when the time is right and the right person is meant to come into my life...I'm just getting impatient.
Ok so on top of all that....I bring my car to the shop today for some repairs. Thankfully it was all covered under warranty...but I have to bring it back on Friday to finish the repairs they didn't get to today...Having to leave it there and take a loaner car to work...meaning I have to get the boys and I up extra early to get to the shop by around 8:15 am..so I can drop my car off and pick up the loaner car, then drop my boys off at daycare so I can be to work by 9 am. Then I'll have to leave work early to pick it up in the afternoon. I normally work til 5 pm on fridays...but the garage closes at 5 pm...so I'll have to leave work about 4:30 so I can rush over there and exchange cars. This week is just turning out to be quite stressful.
Alright I guess I'm officially done now. It's after midnight and I have to be up at 5:30 am...to get my DS8 ready for his Trip to NYC for the Bronx Zoo....5 hours of sleep isn't going to cut it.....but I'll do what I have to do....Hoping I'll have time to squeeze in a nap tomorrow!
Goodnight all!
P.S.....I am open for suggestions, or questions, if anyone is curious about anything or would like to see on here. I've never done a blog before, and would like to make it fun and interesting!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
My First Blog Entry!
So I enjoy reading the every day on goings of random people online. A lot of people I can relate to, others I can't, but I always enjoy being "nosey" on other people's lives! It's always interesting to see what other people do in their every day lives! So in my attempt to satisfy other people's "nosey" tendencies, like my own, I decided to share my life story, with some censorship of course. I will protect the identities of my children and myself. So with that being said, let me introduce myself and my kids.
I am a 29 year old Single mommy. I chose to be a single mommy at the end of 2005. Started the new year of 2006 with a new life for my kids and I. Prior to that point I lived with my boys father and my boys for 8 years. We had two beautiful children together. But that's all I can take out of that relationship. Over the years the boys father was mentally and emotionally abusive to the boys and I. It took me many years to build up the courage to leave him for the better of children and myself. After leaving I had to, for the first time in my adult life, learn to be the sole "bread winner" for the family. To keep my head afloat for the well being of my children. It was a struggle, but I fell into routine fairly quickly. I had a few dead end jobs that I worked at to get the bills paid, and finally realized that no matter how hard I tried I just wasn't advancing very far. So I put myself back through cosmetology school, and got my state licensing. Now I'm a licensed cosmetologist and have been working in the field for almost 2 years now. And I love it! I have had one significant relationship since leaving the boys father and that ended after 2 and a half years, because we just were two people that had different views for our lives. I am currently ready to get back into the dating world and find myself a husband, and hopefully get my "American Dream" with the house with the white picket fence in the country, more kids and some puppies! LOL
Now my kids:
I have an 11 year old son....who since the whole separation from their father has developed or should I say been diagnosed with ADHD, Tic disorder, Anxiety, and Explosive Behavioral disorder. So learning about each of these unique diagnosis and the medications and their alternatives that need to be incorporated into his life in order to give him a sense of normalcy, has been an exhausting everyday fact of life! Other than that, he's like any other 11 year old boy.....wants to be older than he is, is going to be starting Middle School in the fall, is interested in music(wants to be a rock star when he grows up), and trying to learn what it is to be a man(even though he doesn't have many male role models in his life at this time). His disorders do create a lot of tension in our home on a daily basis, but he's my little boy, and no matter what will fight the battle to get him where he needs to be in life.
I also have an 8 year old son. He's a mommas boy, and because of that...I would say is pretty spoiled, and it's not a good thing..he can be whiny and has a tendency to be snotty, so he can get what he wants...but we are working on that. He's the sweetest, most polite boy, in school, with family and friends, but get him home with me and watch out! LOL
I love my boys very much and wouldn't change them for the world! We have our good days and our bad days...like any other family with kids.
My life as a single mom, can be very lonely and frustrating at times...but it's my life and I am determined to make it better...no matter how long it takes me! The boys father hasn't seen them in about 3 years, and doesn't call, write letters, or send birthday cards...so I am a very single mother with no help at all....Child support hasn't been paid by him at all through all of this either. But I have made it on my own and will continue to do so!
Currently, I am trying my best to earn enough money to pay off my student loan debts and start saving for a home of our own. Apartment living has really been taking it's toll on us.
I have slowly been trying to occupy my "free time" with taking up new hobbies and interests. Since the beginning of the year I have taught myself to Knit...which I'm trying each day to become better at. Also have taken a large interest, in Frugality...which may sound funny...but anything I can do to save money and improve the quality of our lives I'm willing to do. My hopes are to eventually be in our own home, with a large veggie garden in our back yard and being as self sufficient as possible....
I guess that's it for my first post. I will update as often as I remember and can...as my interesting(or not) life unfolds.
I am a 29 year old Single mommy. I chose to be a single mommy at the end of 2005. Started the new year of 2006 with a new life for my kids and I. Prior to that point I lived with my boys father and my boys for 8 years. We had two beautiful children together. But that's all I can take out of that relationship. Over the years the boys father was mentally and emotionally abusive to the boys and I. It took me many years to build up the courage to leave him for the better of children and myself. After leaving I had to, for the first time in my adult life, learn to be the sole "bread winner" for the family. To keep my head afloat for the well being of my children. It was a struggle, but I fell into routine fairly quickly. I had a few dead end jobs that I worked at to get the bills paid, and finally realized that no matter how hard I tried I just wasn't advancing very far. So I put myself back through cosmetology school, and got my state licensing. Now I'm a licensed cosmetologist and have been working in the field for almost 2 years now. And I love it! I have had one significant relationship since leaving the boys father and that ended after 2 and a half years, because we just were two people that had different views for our lives. I am currently ready to get back into the dating world and find myself a husband, and hopefully get my "American Dream" with the house with the white picket fence in the country, more kids and some puppies! LOL
Now my kids:
I have an 11 year old son....who since the whole separation from their father has developed or should I say been diagnosed with ADHD, Tic disorder, Anxiety, and Explosive Behavioral disorder. So learning about each of these unique diagnosis and the medications and their alternatives that need to be incorporated into his life in order to give him a sense of normalcy, has been an exhausting everyday fact of life! Other than that, he's like any other 11 year old boy.....wants to be older than he is, is going to be starting Middle School in the fall, is interested in music(wants to be a rock star when he grows up), and trying to learn what it is to be a man(even though he doesn't have many male role models in his life at this time). His disorders do create a lot of tension in our home on a daily basis, but he's my little boy, and no matter what will fight the battle to get him where he needs to be in life.
I also have an 8 year old son. He's a mommas boy, and because of that...I would say is pretty spoiled, and it's not a good thing..he can be whiny and has a tendency to be snotty, so he can get what he wants...but we are working on that. He's the sweetest, most polite boy, in school, with family and friends, but get him home with me and watch out! LOL
I love my boys very much and wouldn't change them for the world! We have our good days and our bad days...like any other family with kids.
My life as a single mom, can be very lonely and frustrating at times...but it's my life and I am determined to make it better...no matter how long it takes me! The boys father hasn't seen them in about 3 years, and doesn't call, write letters, or send birthday cards...so I am a very single mother with no help at all....Child support hasn't been paid by him at all through all of this either. But I have made it on my own and will continue to do so!
Currently, I am trying my best to earn enough money to pay off my student loan debts and start saving for a home of our own. Apartment living has really been taking it's toll on us.
I have slowly been trying to occupy my "free time" with taking up new hobbies and interests. Since the beginning of the year I have taught myself to Knit...which I'm trying each day to become better at. Also have taken a large interest, in Frugality...which may sound funny...but anything I can do to save money and improve the quality of our lives I'm willing to do. My hopes are to eventually be in our own home, with a large veggie garden in our back yard and being as self sufficient as possible....
I guess that's it for my first post. I will update as often as I remember and can...as my interesting(or not) life unfolds.
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